Awareness is Not Enough to Create Fulfilling Conscious Relationships

Share On Social

Relationships are a powerful forum for the exploration of intimacy, connection, communication, behavior and reflection in the complex expression of our human condition. Especially in the spiritual world, it is common to hear about the desire to attract, create or manifest the ideal romantic relationship of your dreams or that conscious life-partner whom you long for and know you deserve. This is the eternal quest for a truly conscious relationship that embodies your ideal of connection and fulfillment.

To attract this seemingly rare and elusive relationship, one must first investigate and understand what a “conscious relationship” means and what it takes to create, develop and sustain this experience in your inner and outer world.

The word “conscious” is often defined as a purposeful, intentional, aware or awakened perspective. It simply means that you have realized an awareness of a deeper and more subtle reality through direct experience. You have become awakened to the concept of more, other and beyond your present perception. The word “relationship” refers to the ability, manner, sense or state of how you relate to that now more conscious reality.

In the spiritual, pop-culture world, there is a ridiculous amount of hype around the concept of spiritual awakening.  So much energy is spent expounding the awakened state. But what most do not realize is that the true process of self-realization is less about your awakening and more about how you effectively integrate and sustain this new relationship and awareness into every aspect of your daily life. This is where the deeper journey of consciousness really begins.

Spiritual circles also over-simplify the concept that “like attracts like.” Because, simply “being conscious” should naturally attract something conscious. Isn’t that enough? But being conscious just means having a deeper insight and a more expanded view of your inner and outer reality. There is a deep-rooted misconception that your awareness is the most necessary ingredient to creating a spiritually satisfying relationship. And though It is a necessary beginning, it is not enough.

If you sincerely embrace your growing awareness, you will find it impossible be complacent in many aspects of your life. It will be too uncomfortable to live by default. You will have change you inner relationship to everything that no longer works and that will ripple outward in your behavior. You now see so much more, and you must also make intentional decisions about how you are consciously relating to your sense of self on every level and then the world around you.

At some point, you must delve into the underlying fragmented aspects of your being and consciously investigate, understand, purify and refine the inner conditioning that is influencing your manifestation. You always create every outer relationship from a multidimensional reality that not only includes your awareness and your conscious intention but also all your unconscious beliefs, filters, programming as well as your conditioned personality structure.

“You always manifest from the totality of everything that you are –
every aspect of your being, not just from what you consciously desire,

what you aspire to be or even what you want to desperately believe that you are.
Your outer relationships will reflect EVERYTHING.” 

So, a passive lens of awareness is never going to be enough to exclusively create that truly fulfilling, conscious relationship that you crave until you intentionally cultivate a relationship of transformation within. You absolutely MUST work on your conditioning. You have to embark on a journey of profound discovery and integration and actively transform your inner relationship from unconsciousness to consciousness, contraction to expansion, immaturity to maturity, reactivity to responsibility and nurture deep self-availability if you want to attract the someone who is doing the same.

The more of those areas that you cultivate and integrate within, the more able you are to attract someone who is on the same inner journey at the same level of the process. And even though the notion of an aware partner is attractive, you are not just having a relationship with someone’s level of awareness, you are also relating to all the other conscious and unconscious aspects of the being, their willingness to transform themselves and what they have already transformed.

The bottom line is that if you want to have a successful, fulfilling relationship and enjoy all the human expressions of that relationship, you have to transform your humanness. And though awareness is necessary, it does not instantly guarantee anything. Your awareness clears the fog but now you have to do something about what was previously unseen.

“The journey of self-purification is an ongoing process of growth, expansion and integration.
You first begin by refining all of your(inner and outer) contractive patterns and distortions.
Then you focus the rest of your life enjoying the experience of refining your refinements.”

The partner you attract will be always be a reflection; a reflection of your sincere desire for growth; a reflection of your expression of conscious action; a reflection of your own integration and a reflection of your unconsciousness. If you want to know where you are at, then get honest about what you are seeing in your outer manifestation. Every relationship is an invitation and a barometer.

The partner you manifest will not only be a reflection of your active level of awareness, but more importantly they will also be a wake up call and a “real time” indicator about what you are actually willinging and unwilling to do with that awareness.



As a Holistic Life, Business and Relationship Coach, Markus has accumulated over 40,000 hours of coaching celebrities, entrepreneurs, businesses, couples and individuals for over 20 years and has created the groundbreaking IRAM: A Map for Creating Conscious Relationships.He facilitates events worldwide and is a regularly featured expert guest and speaker on podcasts and summits. Using an integrated approach of life coaching, psychology, mindset, alternative modalities and meditation practices, he has changed the lives of thousands by teaching how to transform all your relationships from the inside out.

Sign up for our Newsletter